My Twitterverse (a poem)

Move over gambling and alcohol,
Seductive sweets that soon turn bitter
There’s a new kid in town, who’s stolen your crown –
That social media site called Twitter

You vow you’ll never go near it,
It’s for celebrities, app geeks and fools
Then someone you trust says it’s a must
“Why darling, it’s a genius tool!”

Genius indeed for us writers,
Who always have something to say
Twitter lets you publish your every thought
A hundred or more times a day

Still it takes you a while to grasp it
There are different rules of thumb
Such as, plug yourself more than 5%
And you’ll be unfollowed by some

You tweet something and someone retweets you
It gives you a buzz and a glow
You tweet something and nobody notices
Answer me damn it! Hello?

You start to tweet before breakfast
On your i-phone while still in the buff
You burn the dinner while tweeting a winner
Your partner snaps, “I’ve had enough!”

Then one day a lightbulb goes ping
It’s time to climb out of the pit
The penny drops: real life has stopped
You’ve been acting like a Twit

Like medicine, Twitter has healing powers
Interaction and praise make you high
But too much leads to getting hooked
While real life passes you by…

That’s not to say that Twitter’s all bad
It has many a positive quality
But once in a while, have some goddamn style
Give yourself a good Twitter holiday.

 

OK, so I’m an indie author…

Nervous, unsure and doubtful

I launch my novels online

I’m guessing that selling one copy

could take a very long time

 

I join that dreaded Twitter thing

and tentatively start to tweet

I discover that people are friendly

supportive and rather sweet

 

It seems I’m an indie author now

so I must learn to promote myself

but without annoying other tweeters

in my bid to stand out on the shelf

 

I blog about writing and publishing

the highs and lows of the ride

sometimes people relate to my posts

which makes me feel warm inside

 

Little by little my sales creep up

and I feel like celebrating

after years of seeking a publishing deal

going indie is liberating

 

Still I’m just a novice at marketing

and I’m only a one-man-band

I’m tweeting, blogging and editing too

but I need to establish my ‘brand’

 

Women’s fiction – that’s definitely me

but I know that men like it too

I’m romantic comedy as well you see

but ballsy – not cringe-worthy goo

 

Mummy porn? Not me I’m afraid

though there’s an abundance of sparks a-flying

There’s drama a-plenty in my books

that’ll leave you laughing and crying

 

Beach reads is a good one, I’ll admit

as there’s sunshine and foreign soil

But my next one’s in Brighton in winter time

so is that another good label foiled?

 

All in all I’m just loving this journey

It’s amazing my books are being bought

I’m no longer seeking a publishing deal

But if you’re offering I’ll give it some thought


by Tasha Harrison, 2nd July 2012