My Twitterverse (a poem)

Move over gambling and alcohol,
Seductive sweets that soon turn bitter
There’s a new kid in town, who’s stolen your crown –
That social media site called Twitter

You vow you’ll never go near it,
It’s for celebrities, app geeks and fools
Then someone you trust says it’s a must
“Why darling, it’s a genius tool!”

Genius indeed for us writers,
Who always have something to say
Twitter lets you publish your every thought
A hundred or more times a day

Still it takes you a while to grasp it
There are different rules of thumb
Such as, plug yourself more than 5%
And you’ll be unfollowed by some

You tweet something and someone retweets you
It gives you a buzz and a glow
You tweet something and nobody notices
Answer me damn it! Hello?

You start to tweet before breakfast
On your i-phone while still in the buff
You burn the dinner while tweeting a winner
Your partner snaps, “I’ve had enough!”

Then one day a lightbulb goes ping
It’s time to climb out of the pit
The penny drops: real life has stopped
You’ve been acting like a Twit

Like medicine, Twitter has healing powers
Interaction and praise make you high
But too much leads to getting hooked
While real life passes you by…

That’s not to say that Twitter’s all bad
It has many a positive quality
But once in a while, have some goddamn style
Give yourself a good Twitter holiday.

 

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